Irrational Beliefs and Sexual Problems

Half a century ago Albert Ellis noted that a typically intelligent person would often act in ways that seem self-defeating or foolish. His explanation for this phenomenon became the basis of all psychotherapies that are called any of cognitive behavioral, cognitive, interpersonal or Rational Emotive. In contrast to both the psychotherapeutic dogma of his time and his clinical education Ellis came to a novel explanation of emotional dysfunction. His epiphany was that it was not unconscious forces or conflicts that led to adversities that fall within the realm of mental health. Based on a pattern observed among clients, he concluded that all dysfunctions that can be ameliorated by psychotherapy are a result of two factors. The first is a function innate constitutional propensities, the second is the inevitable tendency towards and irrational thinking (ref). Importantly, he observed that people are fully aware of most of their irrational beliefs yet tend to tenaciously maintain them despite their leading to despair and dysfunctional behavior. These conclusions, the product of his early clinical work, and his work as a sex therapist led in 1953 his break with psychoanalysis. Once this break was complete he commenced calling himself a rational therapist through which he advocated psychological interventions with goal of changing peoples irrational thinking and behavior.

Early in the process of developing an new therapeutic paradigm Ellis also noted that people with sexual and intimacy problems were also victims of the same type of irrational thinking. Specifically, the preponderance of sexual difficulties were spawned by rigid inflexible thinking and obsessive demands on people, including oneself. In essence irrational thinking and acting in sexual affairs led to disruptions of relationships, difficulty in achieving stable bonds and emotional distress in encounters. Sexual intimacy in the best of circumstances can be difficult, especially enduring intimacy. In any cases sexual passion lasts just long enough for copulation, occasionally it endures long enough to wean a child in rare and uniquely romantic cases. Love and sex and remain intimately connected for the lifetime of one of the partners.

Sadly, the third case is rare. The dismal reality, based on the high rate of divorce and relationship dissolution is that the transition from romantic love to an enduring conjugal love commonly fails to manifest. Although, divorce rates remained fairly constant in the last two decades, there has been a trend towards fewer couples marrying. For example, approximately 85% of people born from 1940 to 1944 were married by the age of 30 in contrast to the 65% of people born from 1970 to 1974. Estimated divorce and separation rates range from 40% to higher rates as those found by Martin and Bumpass who concluded that when allowing for underreporting the actual rate is closer to 66%. Whatever the precise rate of divorce, it likely understates the rate of relationship dissolution, as many relationships fail before marriage is achieved.

Given high rate of divorce, relationship instability and the range of negative emotions that arise from disrupted relationships it would seem to beg the question is there evidence that the same type of distorted thinking that is addressed in all modern therapies the foundation of despair in love and intimacy. This was studied at this center utilizing two surveys of total of 550 people, it was found that those people who most strongly endorsed the irrational beliefs detailed by Ellis had the greatest degree of sexual difficulties.